denforum

hi my name is ouma and i look like this ↓

actual spoilers for drv3

i grew up on forums and chat sites (xat.com was my poison of choice), as a result had to try twitter 3-5 times until it 'clicked,' and i prefer tumblr as a posting format otherwise. my natural behavior is to ramble and never shut up; i've minimized my social media screen time a Lot, i'm most active on the denden mastodon instance, and i post my art to my twitter too (primarily out of laziness) - right now, i think my inherent journaling posts are better suited here than tumblr. i hope you guys enjoy the 5,000+ words to come...

as a person - i don't seriously 'kin' outside of kokichi ouma who is 100% my "He's Just Like Me" character. 'ou' is a perfectly fine nickname; i've accumulated a handful of names throughout my time on the internet (i.e kleu), but i'd prefer for new friends to not call me such and refer to me as ouma/ou instead. my pronouns are he/him and he/hir. body 'age' and socially i'm in my 20s, but developmentally (both mentally & physically) i'm somewhere around ~16. i'm in a monogamous & dedicated relationship with my girlfriend, who might make an account just to see & interact with my posts <3

a lot of Very Sad Things have happened to me and i'll inevitably post abt them. will try to spoiler appropriately when necessary. my tl;dr is that i am recognizably disabled, i am largely bedbound and i have a medical caregiver, i have an intellectual & developmental disorder. not autistic, altho i've been misdiagnosed as such... i have Bitch Personality Disorder (BPD) which is much more prevalent than my comorbid ASPD and PTSD. try as i might my personality disorders slip out; i try to avoid consistent 1-on-1 conversations on socmed but i like to talk!!! feel free to talk to me!!!!! i have a secondary discord purely for Friendship, if wanted.

as a creative, in my heart, i am a writer. i've become quite the troublesome pest in my fandom, the scorn of the saihara/ouma tag on ao3, and i have no interest in writing/publishing original fiction. delusional fanboy forever. my artwork is split between my twitter, my denden, and my inkbunny. IB is definitely less active than the other two, purely bc of the necessary tagging. for artwork/writing i fixate on my OTPs, occasional creature drawings as well. saihara/ouma is my eternal ship, currently i'm fixated on kieran/carmine (pokemon SV DLC) - you can see a (?) complete list of ships on my tumblr.

i'm very passionate about music, TV, and movies. when i post music i'll link to bandcamp or youtube to maximize the artists' profits, but i create playlists on my spotify. (occasionally i make music - all instrumental, and from my computer - and maybe i'll upload them someday.)

i continuously update a 'what have i been watching/reading/playing' post, per month, on my tumblr. i intend to write my thoughts here, whether in their dedicated threads, but presumably in replies here. my favorite movie is the secret of nimh, favorite anime is kill la kill, i'm undecided about TV, and my favorite band is (probably?) sunday driver.

...i think that's everything!!! sorry for a long introduction post on what will be a very ME!!!!!!!-centric thread. i'd love responses to any of my posts, of course... ofc i imagine i'll talk to myself, which is common, lol. nonverbal guy IRL loves to type to himself. lurking is also OK.

today was a good day. despite all my dread, i went to the food bank today... the most exciting things, in order: chocolate muffins, free phone, and a free TABLET....!! (ish. had to put $20 down for the tablet but) - the ACP program is ending due to lack of funding, so a lot of ppl are being migrated to the safelink (?) program, youre applicable as long as you receive some sort of government assistance. as a triple threat ( food stamps + medicaid + disability recipient ) i was eligible for the tablet! behold the lock + home screen lol

lock n home screen

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miles you gotta tell me the BBcode for a spacer and resizing attachments, not img URLs. [space] and [br] don't work at all; i tried img/width size which broke the attachment entirely, aaaaaaa

i managed to remove most of the bloatware from it, might connect to computer later to flush the apps fully. it's a m10l pro with 32gb of storage - if i use it a lot, i'll prolly upgrade. as a government funded device, and semi-vulnerable to tracking as a result, i'm... going to hold off on installing any APK and the like, for now...

my bemoanings: the SENSITIVITY SUCKS!!! it cant register my regular samsung tablet pen!! i have to use this super uncomfortable stylus!!! luckily i never planned this as a, secondary streaming (computer->tablet) device, nor for drawing... i want to use it for reading, and watching plex stuff in bed. perhaps emulation on the go - i wanna take it outside! also might be used for home appointments like therapy and my psych.

otherwise, there's a forced google search bar on the first 'home' panel, so i had to make another one e_e purely for the clock widget e_e so i can actually see the art...

i rlly do like how videos play off it. its not super high quality, but there's a nice filter from the display as a result. the grain gives some weight to the subtitles and lines that are otherwise VERY CRISP!!! on HQ monitors.

pic of me watching bluey on this tablet

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as for the phone. the tablet took around ~2 hrs to set up to a comfortable state, w the tremors of PARANOIA!!! of losing all my pictures copying them onto a non-samsung device lol. (i didnt!) i'll work on the phone, later... i will likely transfer all of my busy calls, medical and whatnot, to that phone. i will update how both devices go, if my opinions change, and whether or not i do anything fun on them!

i mean i knew what i was getting into, but this is impressively slow. it crashed numerous times. gf thought the culprit could be chrome itself, so i tried to install vivaldi, which similarly stalled. i don't care enough to figure out what's going on, or replace any problematic parts - it's a free phone BECAUSE it sucks. so long as it can hold calls & text i'll be relatively satisfied. i am curious how apps work - discord seems to be working just fine, so would it be an OK reader or even light emulation? is it the wifi chip that's fucked

at the very least if my regular phone becomes unusable i can calm down through the ~2-5 minutes of wait time for the browser to even boot, lol

also the battery just sucks. it depletes from 100% to ~80 range in a span of about 5 minutes. the booth was offering a "$30 upgrade" which i was uninterested in from the start and i dont intend to swap this out. unless it bricks, maybe, then i might try and exchange it at the booth. the guy quoted it as "2x faster," but y'know lol

it's super comfortable in the hand though. unfortunately 'fixing' this cute little thing would be, a rough estimate, the price of a brand-name phone secondhand. i forgot to grab the model number when i had it on, to compare to online reviews and whatnot. probably later

anyway the tablet is fine. i fell asleep w/ it playing plex in the background. despite streaming numerous 1080p files, its battery life was around.. 85%? when i woke up. very nice. i was genuinely disgruntled having to set up my actual bed desk, bc i wanted to lie down and watch plex for awhile lol.

last night - on a whim, i decided to download PENUP and draw a bit on the new tablet. here are the results!

art

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obviously nothing incredible. i can't imagine using it longterm, ever. PENUP app itself seems a bit... strange.. perhaps its a bug or my unfamiliarity w the app, but i couldnt change the colors for the oil brushes very strange. i didnt bother installing tayasui sketches, an app im much more familiar n comfortable with. perhaps another day

also i forgot to power off the thing last night. i was worried its battery wouldve been near, or fully, dead... but its at 90%. very nice! so far the honeymoon is still on

as for today i wrote a BIT!!! of a kieran/carmine drabble. its rough and will be published as such

cw for nonexplicit incest, intrusive thoughts

unbeknownst to kieran - and she never wants to tell him - carmine joined the league club for him. his technology illiteracy means she’s the one buying everything. real money is near useless in the academy, the obscene conversion rate takes advantage of dumb kids; carmine got used to the free cafeteria food and scavenged TM materials herself. she traded pokemon and items when she needed something of her own, and it was fine.

then two years later, kieran enrolled at the academy.

at first she thought it’d be a good, ‘teaching lesson,’ to some effect. learn some independency. she could demonstrate how the computer works, how to feed materials in exchange for TMs, what breakfast/lunch/dinner meals were actually nutritious, and kieran would go *wowzers* and *thank you* and *sis, you’re the best, i love you, and i mean that in a strictly platonic way ha-ha.*

instead, kieran immediately fell-and-ate dirt in the canyon biome and whined when carmine told him to walk it off, he refused to help with the outdoor picnic and then pitched a fit over the limited (human) candies they could afford, and he was generally unpleasant for awhile. zero survival instincts.

what carmine wanted to do: smack him upside the head, call him a spoiled little brat, tell him that the school doesn’t accept piss attitudes like his, and *go home crying to gran and grandpa if you’re going to make me fail my education because you have the emotional maturity and capability of a toddler.*

what carmine did: applied for the BB league club. *okay, you don’t want to eat outside - i’ll buy you real meals. i’ll fund that little sweet tooth of yours. don’t worry about the BP system, tell me what you want and i’ll get it for you. i love you, kiki.*

so, they don’t get to see each other very much.

i'm toiling a bit on the shinx outbreaks in S/V. i want to grab a couple shinys to later wonder trade, for the ppl who missed out on them... girlfriend and i also need to work on, the walking wake / iron leaves tera raid going on. if you play S/V you should offer to help us!!!!!!!!!!

today i did some Important Phone Calls.

SUPER brief discussion animal illness

bc of a lingering URI, my sickly kitty is scheduled for surgery next week, and i couldn't (COMFORTABLY!!!) afford it and my rent.

i've been OK'd to not pay my rent for may and i'm in discussions of getting a 40/50 cut, a payment plan, and such assistance locally... glo (kitty) is doing a lot better today, too. i'm wondering if she'll end up needing some shots & continued antibiotics instead of surgery, as she's acting like her usual self...!! things are looking up for me haha.

...except for dentist on thrusday. eep